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Dec 04 2009

Unsolicited Insanity

The contact form here on my blog gets rather little use. Most people who have something to say will say it in post comments, or email me directly (providing they have my address). The other day I received a rather strange email which was posted from the contact form.

The message was unsolicited. It was from a person I’d never heard of. I don’t know if the person used their real name, but they did use a valid, working email address. I replied to the contact form email and received a reply in return. In the event that this person is not who he says he is, I intend to leave his surname unpublished. For now, I’ll just call him Kevin.

If he’s using the correct name, I’m thinking that he may be a guy who claims to be “the one man who’s seen: The face and the form of Father God. The face and the form of the Devil.” Certainly no delusions there, right? Let’s see what this particular evangelical conspiracy nut had to say. I’ll break it up with my own commentary so as not to flood your brain with too much tin-foil-hat-crazy at any one time.

Hi Dan J,

Whatz-up? Liken the change so far? Do you think I could get a free $bi!!ion$ or so or is that reserved for the politically connected filthy rich? See, looks to me like economist John Maynard Keynes had it pigeon holed when he said, “There is no subtler, no surer means of overturning the existing basis of society than to debauch the currency. The process engages all the hidden forces of economic law on the side of destruction and it does it in a manner which not one man in a million is able to diagnose.”

Wow. Did he really type “Whatz-up?”? Yeah, he did. If he’s trying to sound all ‘hip’ and ‘with it’ so he can be down with all the ‘jive talk’ the young folks are using on this Internet thingy, then he’s already failed miserably.

Let’s see: “Liken the change so far?” I really think he needs to invest in a good dictionary, and learn how to use it. The word ‘liken’ is used to compare two things. For example, I would say, “I liken this email that I received to a pile of steaming dog shit that I found on my lawn: It’s not earth-shattering, but it stinks like shit.” I could hazard a guess that he meant to use a contraction for the verb ‘liking’, again in some vain attempt to sound ‘hip’.

I’m also going to have to assume that he’s thinking because I’m rather liberal that I’m a big Obama supporter. Obama is a politician. I have a dislike of politicians that crosses party lines. I’m a Socialist, not a Democrat. I prefer the leading liberals to the neo-cons, and I’m not going to kid myself by thinking that any member of the Socialist Party is going to snag a high-profile national office any time this century. I’m also a pragmatist.

Another wow! I don’t know about the rest of you, but the term ‘$bi!!ion$’ just jumps right out and screams ‘n00b’, when I see it.

As for the quote from Keynes, I don’t particularly give a shit about Keynesian economics. I’m guessing that the author of the email doesn’t either. He probably just read the quote on a web site somewhere and it fit his preconceived notions, so he decided to use it.

Now the question would seem to be, what is the purpose of overturning the existing basis of society?

Ahhh, that is the question, isn’t it?

Well, that wasn’t my question. My question actually had to do with whether or not the author had taken his meds in the days leading up to typing this missive. The author seems to think that money is the existing basis of society. I guess he’s a Libertarian.

How about the fact there is a hell-bent, private, international banking cartel determined to control the entire world?

Now I guess I could pause here and ask if you agree with me and wait for your response. Or not! Why don’t I just keep going?

Probably a good idea to just keep going, because I’m certainly not agreeing with that crap. Yeah, I knew he was a serious conspiracy nut when I got to that point. I bet he’s going to go on about the Bilderberg Group next. I’m also guessing that he’s a big fan of Alex Jones and David Icke. I wonder if he visits Prison Planet on a regular basis?

If the bankers control the world, what’s wrong with that some may ask. The answer is, they always want more! And more for them inevitably means less for you and I. Want to know more about the insidious plan that’s been afoot to eliminate the middle class and separate permanently the filthy rich from the peons?

www.richdad.com/conspiracy-of-the-rich.

That’s a link to a real good source of information. Robert Kiyosaki is his name, and if you’ve never come across this stuff before it’ll blow the lid on your mind, man.

I’ve got news for the author. It doesn’t take an insidious plan to widen the divide between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’: all it takes is greed. We’ve all witnessed this greed in action recently: It came from people like Bernie Madoff. The big difference between Bernie and others of his ilk is that he was raping people illegally, while the Wall Street executives were raping the rest of us legally.

…it’ll blow the lid on your mind, man.” Has anyone legitimately used that phrase since Cheech and Chong’s Up In Smoke was playing in theaters nationwide? I didn’t think so.

The author doesn’t seem to realize that Robert Kiyosaki writes those books to make money. Kiyosaki is primarily a motivational speaker. He really doesn’t offer financial advice or tips because he doesn’t have much in the way of expertise in these areas. What’s his big line of thinking? He suggests that people focus on generating passive income by means of investment opportunities like real estate and businesses. He thinks the ultimate goal is to be able to support yourself by such investments alone. He is prime evidence, in my opinion, of the kind of fuckhead who put us into the financial mess we are currently experiencing. He’s not part of the solution: he’s a large part of the problem. He’s making money from his books, not his own advice. He’s another con man in a long line of con men.

But it gets worse. You knew I was going to say that, didn’t you? You see, Dan, the whole reason the bankers want to dominate the world and put RFID chips in everyone is because they also want you to worship the Devil. That’s a fact that a lot of bankers probably don’t even know. I know, I know, you’re laughing out loud right now. So why don’t you check out another link to this site:

http://www.illuminati-news.com/moriah.htm

Search for the “Interview with an Ex-Vampire” and sit through it. (Are you laughing again?) At the same site you can find out about all kind of weird things, and even learn that there are people that actually believe in and worship the . . . Devil!

I should have known from the start. This guy is way off the deep end.

Bankers want to put RFID chips in people so that they can rule the world by forcing people to worship the devil? No, I’m not laughing out loud. Once again I’m wondering if the author has taken his anti-psychotic medication.

If you point to an article entitled “The Secret Order of the Illuminati (A Brief History of the Shadow Government)” as a good source of info, then expect rational people to take you seriously, you will be sorely disappointed. I don’t even know where to begin with the Illuminati bullshit. Let’s just say that it’s bullshit.

On the other hand, The Illuminatus! Trilogy is a masterpiece of modern American literature. I highly recommend it to anyone with a sense of humor. I’ve read it several times, and will certainly read it again.

I’m sorry, but the people who believe in ‘The Devil™’ are Christians. People involved in the Church of Satan don’t actually worship ‘The Devil™’, and neither does anyone else, except in the minds of paranoid delusional Christians such as the author of the insane ramblings I received.

What’s that have to do with the coming destruction of America? Well, do yourself another favor and search for, (it’s really hard to find because they don’t want anyone to know) the only battles that West Point Military school doesn’t use for templates to teach battlefield tactics and strategies. Give up? Well hell yes—it’s Israel! Because the only way they have won these battles and wars is inexplicable to explain. Or in other words . . . God alone caused the victories.

Or not . . . yeah, right. And I have property for sale on Mars, too.

Guess what nation is the only nation to become a nation after becoming extinct in the entire history of the World? Want a hint?

Coming destruction of America? Was a date set? I should mark it on my calendar in case I get other appointments for that day. I could clue the author in on several other things, but I’m guessing it wouldn’t make it through the tin-foil hat. Please provide documentation regarding military strategies as taught at West Point and the sources of said strategies.

The author’s command of the English Language is astounding: “…inexplicable to explain.” Let me see if I understand this correctly; the Isreali military wins seemingly unwinnable battles because of direct interference by Yahweh. Wow. If I were the Israeli military, I’d get a different advisor/helper, because Yahweh seems to be doing a fairly shitty job of it.

The only nation to become a nation after becoming extinct… The author doesn’t seem to grasp that the word ‘extinct’ is definitely not the right word to use there. It’s a nation, not an animal species. Did this guy pass his 7th grade grammar classes, or not? It doesn’t seem that he’s heard of the Republic of Serbia or the Republic of Croatia either. Maybe he should read more legitimate information sources.

Pissed you off yet?

Hey, I haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet!

I have no idea why the author thinks that what he’s written thus far would piss me off. I definitely question his sanity, but I’m certainly not pissed off. This next part is long and rambling.

So here’s the good stuff—one God alone created the universe—your mind is just too small Dan J—we’re God’s dream—you do dream, don’t you? (I’m not talking about nasty disgusting filthy evil wicked abominable thoughts, I mean real REM dreams, my friend) and in this dream of Almighty God—there is an adversary—the Devil is his name, or Satan if you prefer, who also was once called Lucifer, (the root for the word luck by BTW) and he has a goal—keep you! You can’t sell your soul to the devil, he already owns it! But, you can let God buy it back . . . That’s what the Blood of Jesus can do for you, Dan J—pluck you out of the clutches of a real, genuinely enraged, lying devil. And the reason he hates you is because you remind him of . . . God. And his biggest lie was to convince mankind that he didn’t exist. Or maybe that God didn’t either. And not only does he hate you and me, but he hates all humanity. But the dream—God is going to recreate all things new—including those who have been persecuted for Jesus’ name, or for being Jewish, and there is a resurrection from the dead because—Jesus Christ has abolished death. He just hasn’t enforced it yet in our narrow spectrum of reality.

Now how’s that for big news?

Sorry if these truths stretch your concept of reality.

Let me guess; that one God is Yahweh, right? Who knows what he means about my mind being too small. I always thought it fit inside my skull quite snugly. Does the author have PET scans I don’t know about?

We are God’s dream? I think he’s confusing his Judeo-Christian mythology with other mythological systems. Yes, I do have dreams (REM state dreams while sleeping). The author will have to explain what he means by “nasty disgusting filthy evil wicked abominable thoughts”. I’m guessing that some of the things I dream about wouldn’t qualify for his definition, even though they take place during REM sleep.

The author is simply wrong about the etymology of the word ‘luck’. It actually comes from 15th century Middle Dutch luc, a shortening of gheluc, meaning “happiness, good fortune,” which is of unknown origin. It is related to Middle High German g(e)lücke, and German Glück “fortune, good luck.” The base is of unknown origin, and certainly not by any evidence from the term ‘lucifer’. Unless this guy has special inside information he’d like to share with the wordsmiths of the world, he should probably keep his mouth shut about the etymology stuff.

The remainder of that paragraph (if you could call it that) is simply religious blather that makes no sense at all. Our narrow spectrum of reality? This dude has widened it up to include all kinds of bullshit that he’s made up inside his head.

P.S. God really does love you and wants to save you. But the deal is, you have to surrender on his terms. That gets you to let go of this world, and then he can pick you up. Look; I know it’s a lot and it’s deep but it’s all true too. So look up for your redemption draweth nigh! If you come to Jesus Christ with your whole heart, he can change you. If you give him your sinful life, he will give you his righteousness. He will give you perfect peace. He will even give you eternal life. But you can’t have both. Think about it, Dan.

The problem with life is it kills us all in the end.
The problem with sin is it causes death.
The problem with Jesus is he cannot deny himself.

Sorry if I was being blunt.

More religious blather that doesn’t actually mean anything, nor convey useful information. Blunt? No, he wasn’t being blunt. He was being psychotic. There is a difference.

I know you said not to be this way but you suggested it!
One more link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaQNACwaLw
The Obama Deception HQ Full length version
This is really killer, dude. It explains why the world is so very one-sided.

See ya!

Kevin ??????

I said not to be what way? Did I tell people not to be psychotic? I wish it were that easy. What did I suggest? Did I suggest that the author find more conspiracies to believe? No. One suggestion I do have for the author of this amazing piece of drivel is to seek professional psychiatric assistance. I do not mean some guy from the church who attended a psychology seminar at a church retreat two years ago. I mean a licensed, practicing psychiatrist.

18 comments

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  1. Mossa

    Arent Israel getting like millions of US dollars from USA for there military every year?

  2. Rich Wilson

    I think I found a photo of your letter writer http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=7417

    1. Dan J

      Wow! I hadn’t seen that one, Rich. Thanks for the laugh!

  3. petursey

    Oh dear..Dan you do get all the crazies lurking don’t you !!!

    but look on the bright side..when you get an email like that it makes you thank science for discovering pills that help cure those voices in the head that those crazies get !!!..Now getting them to take said tablets is more difficult !!

  4. Julie

    How they hell do they find you? Do you wear “crazy-bat-shit-christian-conspiracy-theorist” cologne?

    1. Dan J

      I think it’s some of the words I’ve been using in some of the comments. Mentioning “RFID” or “New World Order” must push me higher in Google for the Conspiracy crowd. If that’s the case, I have an excellent resource for some new posts. Ever hear of Robert Anton Wilson’s “Everything is Under Control”? It’s a gold mine of fruitcakery.

  5. KristinMH

    Wait, he doesn’t even know you? Then how does he know you have “nasty disgusting filthy evil wicked abominable thoughts”? I mean, that’s just rude.

    1. Dan J

      Do you think maybe he’s assuming that since he has such thoughts, anyone not a Christian must have much more of them?

    2. chaosagent

      KristinMH said: “Wait, he doesn’t even know you? Then how does he know you have “nasty disgusting filthy evil wicked abominable thoughts”? I mean, that’s just rude.”

      Nah, he totally does have nasty disgusting filthy evil wicked abominable thoughts. He totally married me, so that goes to show he does. >;D

  6. DuWayne

    Holy fucking hells Dan…

    One of my very closest friends is a conspiracy loon. I have a few friends who are, but my dear friend J is running a pretty good race for the craziest. Don’t get me wrong, we are close friends and I love him quite dearly – he is aware that I think he’s crazy and ultimately he thinks I’m pretty crazy for being willing to take psych meds, so I suppose we’re even.

    J would read that with derision. Seriously, that is the sort of screed that conspiracy loons think is nutty, along with the folks who write them.

  7. Kevin Hofsas

    Dan J,
    The greeting whatz-up is a straw-man intro and a mockery of you—except you can’t see that. Your world view is so conceited you fail to recognize its flaws. You can’t see the cracks which are also where it will shatter. You think it’s possible to segregate reality—you with your intelligentsia (or whatever self-approved title you currently fancy) on one side, and all those you scorn, mock and despise on the other. But the world is a unified whole to God—again, something you can’t see. So continue on in your blissful ignorance that you are what you hate. But you will learn this truth, because as I said, God sees the world as a unified whole. At the great judgment, there will be two groups, Dan J; God’s children on one side and the whole world on the other. I will explain how God sees two groups in a unified whole. But first, what will separate the two? The blood of Jesus Christ my friend—for the only way out of the world is through the blood of Jesus. The way of the universe is to test everything with fire. Whatever works do not honor Jesus Christ will be burned up and destroyed, for he is the Lamb of God on the throne of God, by whom also God made all things that were created, both in heaven and on the earth and under the earth.
    Do your eyes glaze over at these words Dan J? If they do, it is because your mind cannot comprehend the things of the kingdom of God. In short, and please forgive me for saying so, but that means you are a lower life form. Yet God wants to elevate you and bring you into his family through the blood of his Son, Jesus Christ. He wants you to become a child of God. Being adopted into the kingdom of God will mean you will have eternal life, as I have eternal life. Again, something your mind cannot comprehend. Reverting to an ad hominem argument because you can’t see or understand this is . . . cheap. It is altogether un-intellectual. A much wiser course of action would be to humble yourself and ask me, “Kind Sir, what must I do to be saved?”
    The whole world is a field that is growing a crop that God will harvest very soon. From God’s perspective, it is the crop which is a unified whole. In this crop are also ‘weeds.’ These are those souls who only love the world. The rest of this crop are those who have been redeemed by the blood of God’s Lamb, Jesus Christ. Now you can choose to remain a lower life form and only care about the things of the world, (which will amount to you focusing on your own selfish interests) or repent of your sin and ask God to forgive you in Jesus name. Believe that God has raised Jesus Christ from the dead and give your life to Jesus and you will be on your way to eternal life. Or then again, remain a lower life form and receive the punishment due God’s enemies at the judgment. For it is accounted unto men to die once, and then comes judgment. Something a lower life form mocks at, seeing they have no eternal abiding residence in heaven, but have only this world, which is fleeting and perishing, even as they watch. So they must defend it tooth and nail! And what is the world the unbeliever is defending? His world view.
    Since the time of mankind ceding dominion of the earth to the devil, the world has been under the sway of him. Not something a lower life form wants to admit. So you will fight, kicking and screaming until your dying breath that it isn’t so—and find out too late that you have fought for the devil the whole time. It will suck to be you then, Dan.
    I bet you would love it in heaven. No, I take that back. I know you would love it in heaven. It’s not called heaven because it’s blasé. I also know you would hate hell. It’s a devil’s hell, Dan. As a lower life form, you are necessarily forbidden from seeing those places, but you are even right now, being warned of them. At the least, God isn’t going to hear you say “Why didn’t you tell me?” at the judgment seat of Christ, who, glory to God, has abolished death.
    I’m not crazy or insane or hallucinating—I am a spiritual creature who has passed from death into life and is now holding an invitation out to you. “He that has the Son has life; and he that has not the Son of God has not life.” That is the eternal perspective of God—and eternity is something you must face. Won’t you receive Jesus Christ and eternal life, Dan?

    Kevin Hofsas, Author
    7 Visitations from God,
    12 revelations from Heaven
    [link removed by Dan J – I’m certainly not going to support you. If users can’t search for Kevin Hofsas on Google, they’re pretty lazy.]

    1. chaosagent

      Wow. Had he not signed this with “Kevin” I would have thought this was the lady I just spent 12 hours with today. She’s a schizophrenic who is off her meds. I can’t tell you how many times I was told similar things all day long. I will give her props because she wasn’t on the jebus kick today. It was just how I had to live with myself and if something terrible happened to her I would feel bad. Oh, and good always overcomes evil. It’s the law of the land.

      Yeah, I know you shouldn’t make fun of the mentally ill and handcapped, but fuck it gets tedious. I’ve spent 24 of my last 48 hours with this kind of crazy. And it is crazy. It is delusional. And there’s nothing you can say or do to change their mind about it. I’ll tell you what though, I’m no one’s ‘child’ but my parents and fuck you very much if you think I’m going to be bathed in anyone’s blood. You need to get back on the meds son and get the fuck off the internets for awhile.

      1. Dan Leaman

        You are absolutely right. Mentally ill people can be downright tedious, and they can be remarkably high maintenance. I am a critical care nurse and we get our share of schizophrenics, substance abusers, people with personality disorders, etc. They will make you want to pull your hair out. Schizophrenia is such an unfortunate disease because of how it devastates people who were at one time wonderful people. Reading Mr. Kevin’s posts really make me wonder….

    2. Dan J

      It’s difficult to pick much out of that mess, but I’ll start with the first line:

      The greeting whatz-up is a straw-man intro and a mockery of you—except you can’t see that.

      Your statement has absolutely nothing to do with the logical fallacy that is commonly called the straw man. In order to be a mockery it would have to be related to a greeting that I might habitually use, which it isn’t.

      Kevin, you really don’t have the slightest fucking idea what you’re saying, do you?

      Kevin really isn’t even a troll, since he actually believes the crap that he types. He isn’t doing this for amusement; he’s doing this to bring people into the love of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Fucking pathetic attempt, at best.

      In reality I think he’s just trying to increase traffic to his own site, but I already took out the direct links.

  8. Dan Leaman

    Having recovered quite nicely from evangelicalism, I can say that Kevin’s(?) posts don’t sound all that strange to me. I am well acquainted with people who interpret today’s headlines according to the Book of Revelation and the prophecies in the Book of Daniel. I will tell you that attending some evangelical churches is a lot like visiting Mars. I am far happier being a member of the Methodist Church where people don’t get caught up in religious conspiracy theories.
    Satan is blamed for a lot of things. However, did Satan construct concentration camps? Did he staff them with demons? Did Satan build atomic weapons or drop one on Hiroshima? Of course not. People did all that. I believe that when it comes to commiting evil, people really don’t need any help from Satan.
    Finally, it isn’t unusual for schizophrenics to have religious ideation. That even exists when they are on medication.

    1. Dan J

      Hello Dan, and welcome to my loud-mouthed home online.

      [For the benefit of others, Dan is a friend of mine from more years ago than either of us would care to admit. Though we have differing views on some issues, I’m happy to call him my friend, and I hope that he feels welcome here.]

      I’m happy that you’re now in a Methodist congregation instead of being with the Evangelicals. I recently visited the web sites of some Evangelical Churches, and some Baptist Bible Churches. Some of the things I saw were pretty frightening.

      I agree with you that the letter I received from Kevin is much more indicative of issues with mental illness than it is with religious issues. Kevin seems to have simply turned his illness in a religious direction.

      You’ll also notice that Kevin decided to comment, and provide a link to his own web site. Hopefully, we’ll have some interesting conversations.

      1. Dan Leaman

        Oh dear, what can I say? I have read some bizarre things in my life and this one ranks in the top ten. That’s one of the problems with many evangelicals. Outwardly, they are decent people. Inside, they are crazier than an overheated dog.
        This is my opinion of why so many people seek mystical, religious experiences. In our past the world was a magical place inhabited by fairies, gnomes, leprechauns, sprites, tree spirits, etc. As man grew in knowledge, the magical world of the ancients faded into mythology. However, many people see modern life as devoid of mysticism and still seek after it. I think that’s why we see people involved in Wicca and other New Age mystical faiths. I also believe that’s why we see a number of Christians who believe in faith healing, speaking in tongues, and attacks by Satan. I am not saying those things are necessarily false, but they really don’t have anything to do with authentic faith.
        There are some beliefs that I do not subscribe to. I do not believe in “young earth creationism”. All those creationist hypotheses are simply not backed up by science or common sense. The idea of a world wide flood and people living for a 1000 years are just incredible. Christian faith is simply not based on dogmatic belief in these things.
        I also think that before evangelical Christians can begin advising others how to live, they need to clean their own house. I have read that the divorce rate among evangelicals is actually higher than the national average and is higher than those liberal Christians who belong to those awful mainline denominations. The constant drumbeat against homosexuality is unnecessary.
        Here is what is: You don’t have to be a Christian to love other people. Being atheist or agnostic does not automatically make one a selfish prick. Disbelief in God does not make one any less human. True Christianity seeks to serve other people without requiring them to become Christians. Mother Teresa was such a Christian. But, did you know, when she died there were those Christians who said she went to Hell! That’s right, she went to Hell because she wasn’t “saved” because she was a Catholic nun. Do I need to say more?
        Well, I am sure that Mr. Kevin will consider me an apostate, but at least I don’t make outlandish claims of seeing God and other odd things I read.
        Peace

        1. Mossa

          I like you already ^^

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