Shit Stains on the Underwear of Humanity, № 2

This series of posts points out entities I encounter on the Internet which I find to be more ignorant than average, more worthy of a facepalm, and generally unaware of the hideously misguided appearance they present to the Internet at large.

This, my second post in the series, highlights an individual I only encountered briefly on Twitter, though the experience was enough to spur me into writing this post.


There isn’t anything terribly special about this guy, other than the fact that I think he’s a raging asshole, and he doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of how social media in general, and Twitter in particular, function.

It began with a Twitter post disparaging the community which I call home.

@sirfaunty Pat Fauntleroy @DavidDalpiaz @alexandrabrandt Dalp you should be one 2 talk. Chambana is anything but civilized. Its a shithole in the middle of cornfields

A local friend of mine, also on Twitter, took umbrage with this post, and pointed out to @sirfaunty that the Champaign/Urbana area, commonly referred to as “Chambana,” happens to be home to one of the world’s top Universities, and is quite a nice place. What was @sirfaunty’s response?

Who the fuck are you? And if I wanted your opinion I woulda asked for it. #mindyourownbusiness

It seems that @sirfaunty has a rather faulty sense of how Twitter operates. When you sign up for a Twitter account, you’re given the option of having your account public (by default) or protected. People who don’t quite grasp this concept might do well to read the About Public and Protected Tweets page at Twitter.

My friend pointed out to @sirfaunty the public nature of Twitter, and the ability of people who may be completely unaware of each other to view and respond to their posted tweets. @sirfaunty had an answer to that, too.

Correct, I still didn't ask for your opinion though. I was talking to my REAL friends, not u #getalife

That’s right: @sirfaunty still didn’t grasp the idea. When you post on Twitter using a public account, you’re not just talking to one or two people; you’re communicating with anyone who can access Twitter.

My friend suggested that @sirfaunty “put up or shut up” in regard to his comments about our community, and suggested that he make his account private if he didn’t want to be called out on his “crap talk.” That prompted this response from our intrepid ignoramus:

Put up what? My interweb dukes? Jesus you really are a fucking loser.

I guess @sirfaunty also has trouble with his comprehension of the phrase “put up or shut up.” It was intended, I think, as a command to provide evidence of his opinion, or to cease with his derogatory remarks. My friend pointed this out to him as well, but it still didn’t quite seem to sink in.

you still need to get a life pal. Clearly your twitter awesomeness is transferring into real life...

My friend pointed out to @sirfaunty that he had not made any claims about himself at all, to which the reply was this:

Nope but I did! GTFO #blocked

Wow. @sirfaunty describes himself as a “Music Man.” I had heard that the lawyers who work in the recording industry were assholes, but I wasn’t aware that others were, as well. Here’s a tip for you; if you’re in a business with public exposure, don’t alienate the public by acting like the raging prick that you are. Try to hide your stupendous, dickish ego at least a little bit.

When I posted a comment to Twitter describing an encounter with someone else who didn’t grasp the public account concept, my friend directed me to his own experience with @sirfaunty. I described what I saw in this way:

It appears that @sirfaunty is one in a long line of "Internet Tough Guys" who can't grasp the concept of a public forum.

It seems that @sirfaunty wasn’t terribly pleased with me, either, as he responded with this:

Yup u got me! So tough. & it looks like ur 1 of the long line of "Internet Creepers" who cant mind their own business #blocked

Being true to his word, he then blocked me on Twitter. He also gave quite damning evidence that he still doesn’t grasp the idea that Twitter is a public forum, where people can see everything you type, unless you make your account private. Blocking me on Twitter accomplishes very little, in the long run. @sirfaunty will no longer have to suffer the pain of seeing my tweets if I happen to mention him. @sirfaunty can rest securely in the knowledge that I can no longer view his individual status messages on Twitter. I can, however, still view his public timeline. That particular aspect of being blocked really doesn’t make much sense to me.

Have a great life, @sirfaunty, wherever you may be, knowing that you won’t have to read it when I refer to you as a shit stain on the underwear of humanity.


  1. Funny shitte! I think you may find this example of “unclear on the concept of how basic Internet applications work” also quite amusing:

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