What If They Gave A War And Only One Side Came?

Yes, it seems that the annual “War on Christmas” has already begun. I saw evidence of it earlier, but didn’t pay much attention until one of the mortar shells landed in my inbox. This particular explosive device came from the direction of one of my favorite comedic sources; Tim Wildmon, President of the American Family Association.

City bans ‘Christmas’ in favor of ‘holiday’ parade – War against Christmas starting already
October 5, 2010

Dear Dan,

The city of Richmond, Virginia, has turned coward because the new sponsor of its annual parade wants to ban the word “Christmas.”

Here we go again. Dude… seriously… no one is banning the word “Christmas.” Neither the Stassi nor their informers will be stationed throughout our city streets trying to find anyone uttering the verbotten “Christmas.”

When Dominion, an energy company, took over sponsorship of the parade, it told the city it no longer wanted to use “Christmas” as part of the parade name. Instead, Dominion said it will be known as the “Dominion Holiday Parade.”

Tim, Tim, Tim… That’s how that sort of thing generally works. A private company that foots the bill (or a significant portion, thereof) for a public event like a parade usually gets advertising and naming rights. At least they didn’t want to call it the “Dominion Drunken Orgy From Hell,” which probably wouldn’t have met the city’s approval in the first place, let alone yours. I don’t know about Richmond, but I think my suggestion would be more appropriate in some locations.

AFA immediately send an Action Alert into the states where Dominion operates. Thousands have taken action against this anti-Christmas company by contacting them.

I’m just going to touch on the verb tense issue by suggesting that you use a proofreader, Tim.

How is Dominion an “anti-Christmas” company? The last time I checked, Christmas was still regarded as a holiday in most places. Most retail stores are closed; banks aren’t open for business; the postal service doesn’t deliver. Is the problem that you’ve completely forgotten the origins of the term “holiday?”

The word “holiday” in the English language is used to mean both a “religious festival” and a “day of recreation.” The word can be traced to the Old English term haligdæg, which comes from halig “holy” + dæg “day.”

Is it not enough for you that Dominion still wants to remind people that the parade is in celebration of a “holy day”? Is it, perhaps, more likely that you are offended by the idea that they might also be referring to Hanukkah, and to Kwanzaa, and to the Winter Solstice?

I think that’s it. You want to feel “special.” You want to feel like you’re better than everybody else. You want a monopoly on the December holiday season.

Oh; good luck with contacting Dominion. What are you going to do, boycott them? The Amish already do that, and I’m guessing they don’t even give a shit what Dominion wants to call the parade.

We will win this battle…and many more like it.

Companies need to know you will stand up for the meaning of Christmas. As Christians, we can remind everyone that Christ is the true meaning of Christmas by being a witness.

Most of us have already seen “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, but here’s the money shot, in case anyone’s forgotten:

[youtube width=”570″ height=”400″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKk9rv2hUfA[/youtube]

We know what your Christmas is all about, Tim. Or, at least, we know what you think it’s all about. The rest of the world views it in their own way, either as a more secular holiday, as they do in Japan, or as a competitive marketing season, as is more often the case in China. Many of us here in the United States simply enjoy the crisp, cold weather (depending on where we live), the exchange of gifts with friends and loved ones, etc., without the religious trappings.

Let’s not forget, as I mentioned above, that the Christmas holiday season is also the Hanukkah season, and the Kwanzaa season, and the Winter Solstice season. Do you think that perhaps Dominion wanted to call the parade a “Holiday Parade” so that people who aren’t Christian might also feel that they can be a part of the celebration? Are you still so hung up on being the center of the Universe, Tim?

Say “Merry Christmas” to your friends, your church, your school or your whole community by giving away these beautiful Christmas buttons.

Order enough buttons to give to your family, friends and fellow church members. Urge them to “Wear ’em, Share ’em.” These simple buttons represent a way that we can be salt and light in our secular culture.

  • Display Box
  • Church Packs
  • Buttons & Stickers

Yes, you knew it was coming, didn’t you? Everybody should wear the little stickers and buttons to let everyone else know how much they love the word “Christmas.” And they should send money to you for those buttons and stickers. What’s wrong with saying “Merry Christmas” by actually speaking the phrase? I’m an atheist, and even I will usually respond to that phrase with a “Merry Christmas!” in return.

It is very important that you forward this alert to your friends and family members.

That’s right, folks. It’s very important that as many people as possible respond to this message by sending money to Tim for the buttons and stickers. Were the buttons and stickers made by god-fearing Americans, or by the godless Communists in China?


Tim Wildmon, President
American Family Association

That’s the biggest problem I have with this email. I can’t take the word “Sincerely” from Tim Wildmon in any serious fashion.

Update: 2010-10-06

It looks like “Richmond Parade Inc.” caved on the parade name. Yes, the squeaky wheel does get the grease. All of the non-Christians in the Richmond area can once again be reassured that their friends and neighbors don’t want them included in the seasonal festivities. Very nice Christian attitude there, dontcha think? They released this statement on the parade web site:

Site off-line

Statement of Richmond Parade, Inc. on Annual Christmas Parade
October 5, 2010

The Board of Richmond Parade Inc., the volunteer organization that has organized the annual Christmas parade in Richmond, Va., for 26 years, is issuing the following statement:

There has been a great deal of confusion and misinformation about the decision to rename our annual event a “holiday” parade instead of a Christmas parade. This was a decision made unanimously by our board earlier this year based on discussions over the last several years. It was our desire to show that everyone is welcome to celebrate in the spirit of good will. This decision was made prior to approaching Dominion about becoming the main sponsor of the event. It was not done at the insistence of Dominion, as has been misreported in some instances.

In light of the outpouring of support for retaining “Christmas” in the name, our board has voted to change the name to the “Dominion Christmas Parade.” Dominion has been informed of this decision.

It is our hope that the publicity this issue has generated will result in additional sponsors and volunteers stepping forward to continue this proud Richmond tradition.

This site is currently being reconstructed to reflect the name change.


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